Archive for the 'Battle' Category



22
Sep
08

Cool idea, really bad implementation…

There are some weapon designs that are actually very cool (and arguably equally wicked) in concept, but really fall short of their potential in design and implementation. I came across one such evil seed a while back, and thought I’d post about it…

Skull Mayhem

Skull Mayhem

[Click image to view full size]

Now this right here, is what I call a hand blade. And it’s pretty self explanatory. It wants to kill you. No. really. It does. And for this reason, it features a not so obvious but rather dangerous design detail, which we’ll get to in a minute. But on to the wickedness.

In essence, this is pretty much a metallic demon/vampire skull, (personally I’d go with “Angry Master Demon Vamp” But that’s just me) with a set of three pairs of blades attached to it, coming out at either side of the skull, and beneath a very wicked looking set of teeth. The largest, topmost set consists of a large curving blade with quadruple edges, one on the top half of each inward curving blade and the other edge on the bottom half.

The single round grip is attached to a bracket that is bolted to each primary blades on either side. Beneath the main blades are a set of smaller, but longer and more sinister looking blades extending downwards and inwards from approximately where the skulls mandibles should be. IMHO the coolest blades of the set.

The last pair of blades sit in between the second set, and extend downwards from the teeth, specifically from the large fangs, forming a long and rather formidable looking set of black steel fang extensions. Given the reach of the middle pair of blades, I doubt the smaller pair are really neccesary, but I certainly can’t argue the evilitude of the whole combination…

Altogether this would make for a rather effective hand held battledrome blade, except for that one, rather nasty little caveat, that I alluded to earlier. The grip. Yes. This weapon seems very well put together, with a grip set in a steel bracket that is bolted quite securely to the largest set of blades. BUT this single grip is where the problem lies.

With a single grip, this whole contraption is capable of freely rotating around (forwards and backwards, to be exact) the grip. Which means on one day you may have the top of the skull trying to attach itself permanently to the back of your hand. And on another day, you could have the bottom blades trying to slit your wrists.

Either way, unless you’re an emo looking for a really cool way to go out, this is probably a bad choice of weapon for the underground deathmatch gladiator type. However, I do like the aesthetics of this piece. Large black blades, fangs, bladed skull wings… Awesome. And had someone had the forethought to place a rear wrist brace/bracket on the thing, it might have been an absolutely unholy terror in the death match circuit…

Perhaps that was the whole point. Maybe the designers were scared. Maybe they gimped it because they were terrified of what their creation might become. Frightened pantless that their creation might come back to eviscerate them…

Pffft… BWAHA HA HA HA HA AH HA HHA HA HA…

Wusses…

Skull Mayhem – [Collectors Edge]

18
Sep
08

How to get yourself killed in a ninja swordfight.

Alright. So today I ran across a rather unsettling reproduction rip off of what is supposed to be a very cool tool/weapon. Except the knock off does not do the original weapon any kind of justice whatsoever, and in practice, would be much more likely to get you killed, than help you defend yourself.

I speak of none other than the Spiked Vambraces used by “the Batman” in the new, Christian Bale pwned iterations of Batman. Oh and I’m not talking about the stupid tin scrap launcher gauntlets he used in “The Dark Knight”, I’m talking about the solid, sword breaking, spike equipped vambraces used in the first movie, “Batman Begins”.

I thought I’d add that I think the new versions are some of the best takes on the Batman I have seen so far. Except maybe for the very first one with Michael Keaton. But I digress.

At issue today, is this sorry pair of spiked vambraces I found, floating out there in the internets:

Tactical Strike Bracer - Aggressive Battle Vambrace

Tactical Strike Bracer - Aggressive Battle Vambrace

[Click image to view full size]

Misleadingly called a “Tactical Strike Bracer/Aggressive Battle Vambrace” this couldn’t be used any more aggressively than a sloth training for a sleep-a-thon. Of course, I shouldn’t have expected anything else.

What we have here, is a soft faux leather gauntlet, with light gauge steel strips riveted *sigh* in place, with the central strip bearing a set of three spikes welded on, from wrist to elbow, each one slightly larger than the last.

Where to begin. If you’ve been reading this blog, you probably already have a good idea what I’m going to say, just by looking at the picture. But i’ll break down my list of woes anyway…

First… a Faux leather gauntlet? Seriously? Yeah, sure soft faux leather is great if you just want to make a pair of long ladies opera gloves, but for an “Aggressive Battle Vambrace”? It’s not going to last through a dunking in water…

Then there are the steel strips. And the spikes too. Of some ridiculously looking light gauge steel. That looks like I could cut them with a pair of scissors. And riveted in place, no less. Riveted to the oh so soft faux leather… *Burgh*… *Urrrggghh*  I think i’m gonna be sick… Gimme a second… *Bleaaaarrghhhh!!!*

Ok… My bad… Sorry about that… C’mon Phyreblade… You can do this… breathe… That’s right… Wooosaaaahhh…. deep breaths… Aaaahhhh… OK… Let’s try and carry one shall we…

Next up we have the fastening. Three elastic bands, and one faux leather buckle strap… whooo… breath… Whooosaaaahhhh…

Ok. So as to preserve my sanity, let’s try a little thought experiment. Who here thinks this “Aggressive Battle Vambrace” is going to stay where you put it on your arm. No one? Good. Because it won’t. I don’t think elastic straps, fastened to what might as well be pleather, are gonna cut it.

You need really thick, stiff leather or even solid steel plating, with either thick strong laces or with multiple, (ideally 3 or more) equally tough leather buckles, in order for this to work.

OK, next question. Who here thinks those thin steel strips could deflect a sword strike. Good call. They probably won’t. They will bend like the worthless pieces of tin foil that they are.

Corollary question. Who thinks those spikes will still be standing after an attempt to deflect an incoming sword strike. Show of hands… None. Good. Yes, I see none. Partially because I can’t actually see you. Which is a good thing, cause I would have instantly cut off any hands I saw raised anyway.

In fact, I’m actually fairly certain that I could probably cut those spikes off the gauntlet with a sword if I were so inclined. And probably take a good chunk of the wearers forearm too. Just as a reminder to the wearer that they are an idiot.

You simply cannot rivet a piece of steel to a piece of naugahyde (for all it’s worth) and expect it to endure any more than a cats scratching it. And I bet it would consider the cat’s attention “punishing” treatment…

So there you have it folks. A tool that is guaranteed to get you killed if you should ever be foolish enough to use it in defense against a sword wielding opponent. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

And yes, as usual, I’m probably over reacting, this was probably designed just for show, and I’m trying to make into something that it’s not. But still… so much potential… Wasted. Hopes and dreams… dashed. Oh, but it looks nice.

You could take it to a halloween party. Or put it on your pet chihuahua and enter it into a fighting toy dog tournament… Proabably wouldn’t help much but at least it would look cool just before it got annihilated…

Hey, don’t kill the messenger, I’m just saying…

Hyper-Aggressive Battle Chihuahua Spine Protectors – set of 2 – [True Swords]

16
Sep
08

Ghost Rider… Scorpion Reincarnated?

OK, If my heading made no sense to you, (in which case you have some serious sociocultural catching up to do, since I live in a cave, shun human contact, and even I know who these characters are) I am referring to the “Ghost Rider“, of comic book and now movie fame, (played excellently, I thought, but what do I know…) by Nicholas Cage, and Scorpion, of video game turned movie “Mortal Kombat“.

Now having got the introductions out of the way, a little more explanation of my heading. It is my suspicion, that the Ghost Rider, and Scorpion, are one and the same. Yes. No, my tin foil hat is not on too tight. I just checked it. No seriously.

Don’t believe me? Okeydokey then. I have proof. Really. Yes, of course I can show it to you… (N00b). Allow me to present exhibit “A”:

Ghost Rider Chain Whip

Ghost Rider Chain Whip

[click image to view full size]

Ok, Now see that? That is the Ghost riders chain whip. Yeah huh. Basically a massive chain, weighted on both ends. This one has a solid steel grip on one end, and a spiked weight on the far end, making it all the more… Lethal. Now here comes the fun part. Do you know what kind of weapon this is? No? Well I’ll tell you. It’s called a Manrikigusari.

Yep, a manriki chain. Ah, but of what significance is that? Well being the helpful chap that I am, I’ll say that the Manrikigusari is a Japanese weapon, and is more importantly, a weapon reputedly used quite a lot by… Yep, you guessed it. Ninjas! Now here comes the tricky part. You know who else is a Ninja? If I have to tell you this, you need to go read someone elses blog… Ah, yes. That’s right. Scorpion! You get a cigar and +100 internets.

What is even more interesting is that one of scorpions signature moves is to launch what looks like a chain from his palm at his opponents, which then impales them so he can reel them in and inflict massive close range damage… In later incarnations, the chain actually became a living extension of Scorpion… Sound familiar? Maybe like Ghost riders chains perhaps? I’m just saying…

Ah, but the similarities do not end there. Ghost rider spends most of his time looking like a normal human being (as good old Johnny Blaze, stunt biker extraordinaire, no less). But when he changes to the Ghost Rider, he has a flaming skull for a head. Oooooh Scaaaarryyy… 😛

Coincidentally, (or not) though Scorpion usually has a ninja mask on, what you can see of his face generally looks normal. However he has this move where he takes off his mask and breathes hell fire out at his opponents. And I’ll give you one guess whats under that mask when he takes it off… Bingo! A fire breathing skull!!

And as if that was not enough, check this out. The Ghost rider is a hell spawned creature who has dedicated his life to metering out vengeance on those who have been wronged. Scorpion, is a hell spawned undead ninja who has dedicated his life to visiting vengeance on those who massacred his clan and killed his family… Freaky coincidence? I think not.

I’m telling you… These two are the same guy. Seriously. It’s some kind of conspiracy. No, I’m not a nut. Have you not read everything I’ve said so far?!? More evidence than you can shake a flaming stick at. And you know what they say. Your not a nut if it’s true… Bah. What do you know…

Either way, this is the sweetest manrikigusari evar…

The Ghost Riders Chain Whip – [True Swords]

14
Sep
08

A spike you don’t wanna lose your head to…

Today I thought I’d post about a rather interesting weapon. A spike. But not just any spike, A spike with an interesting history…

Death Blow Spike

Death Blow Spike

Now on the site I found this on, called it a death blow spike, and featured a spike with an interesting design, namely a spike with a flattened grip, with a Samurai cast on top of the flat part of the grip, with a funny little nub on top, and on a band around the wooden case that it comes in.

It also comes with three darts, for reasons I cannot fathom; but of interest to us today, is the spike. Yes, it would indeed be a great little weapon, easy to hide, quick to deploy, etc. BUT then you have to ask yourself, if this was intended to be another easily accessible hidden weapon, why the case?

A case would only make it larger, and more obvious, and it would add another step when you want to wield it. And for that matter, why the adornment on the spike? Most weapons like these were rarely ever so aesthetically well endowed. What gives? Well… And I think I know.

I kept thinking to myself, I have seen that design before. At first I was thinking it might be some form of, bo shuriken, but though it could easily be used as such, bo shuriken do not usually have that unusual shape to the butt, nor are they so ornately decorated…

Then it hit me: A Kubizashi. Had to be. Kubizashi were a rather interesting… Tool… (for lack of a better word.) Kubizashi were used by Samurai, during war, to shall we say… “Mark” the heads of their beheaded trophy foes on the battlefield. Yeah.

And by “Mark”, I mean these kubizashi were thrust into the bodyless head, and a tassel, with the name of the Samurai that had relieved the unfortunate combatant of his noggin, was tied around the little stub at the top of the weapon…

After the battle they could go back across the field and perform a “head count” as it were, (it is wrong that am rolling in my chair at the moment?) 😮 of the number of enemies beheaded by each Samurai. If memory serves they also looked at the faces of the beheaded as these were interpreted as good or bad omens…

Yep… Those Medieval Japanese sure were fairly practical folk. And they really knew how to make really nice “tools”… 🙂

Death Blow Spike – [eBladeStore]

12
Sep
08

A Mystical Weapon… From a Mind of Metal…

If any of you are fans of the Lord of the Rings, you may remember a scene In which Treebeard, one of the old giant trees, describes the evil wizard Saruman, saying:

“He has a mind of metal and wheels; and he does not care for growing things”

For some reason, this phrase has always stuck in my head as an interesting description of Saruman. Maybe because I too, have a mind of metal… Though I would not go so far as to say I care little for growing things… But eco-friendly philosophical wizardry debate aside, there was one product of Sarumans oh so metallic mind, that I always liked. His staff:

In contrast to Gandalfs organically flowing, white wooden staff , Saruman wielded a staff of metal, adorned with a head that could easily have been designed to be a weapon itself. Part mace, part spear, it is the kind of staff I’d wield, were I to ever to become a Wizard. Of course It’ll never happen; being a Balrog is just so much more fun. I’m just saying. But look at this not so little beaut:

Sarumans Metal Wizards Staff

Sarumans Metal Wizards Staff

Now THIS is a staff. As staves go, it is a fairly intimidating piece, a metal shaft topped with a menacing quadruple bladed head, all finished in black. The head is obviously, the most interesting part of this reproduction, the bottom half of the head bearing an uncanny resemblance to a medieval mace design.

Moving up the head we have a crystal ball, nestled snugly between the four prongs of the head, which continue to extend upwards a few more inches, and then go to a wicked looking diagonally cut into a four pronged head, looking for all the world like the head of a quadruple spear.

Perhaps the thing I like most about this design is it’s sheer practicality as a weapon. Even sans magic enhancing properties. It was originally conceptually designed for duty as a Wizards magic staff, so I imagine Saruman used the crystal as a magic focusing tool, and the four blades were intended purely to hold the crystal in place, and were therefore not sharpened.

However, I think the design suits itself rather well to certain kinds of staff or spear combat. If were we to sharpen them, remove the extraneous crystal, and sharpen the tips of the four prongs to wickedness, well… I think you get the point…

All four of them…

Need I say more? Yeah. Thought not.

Sarumans Metal Wizards Staff – [eBladeStore]

01
Sep
08

Wolverine Claws… Revisited.

OK, so if you’ve been reading this blog for any amount of time, you may know that I have several posts related to the topic of the retractable adamantium claws of our all time favorite X-Man, Wolverine.

In fact, I have talked about several different kinds of Wolverine claws, and innumerable miserable replicas and wannabes, from X-Claws that would most likely implant themselves in your knuckles, to the Bear and Pantera claws and so on, that would probably rotate down and try and embed themselves in your wrist if you ever tried to do anything even remotely Wolvie-like with them.

I think I even looked at the practicality of having claws surgically implanted in ones forearm… (Just as a quick reminder to everyone, that was a distinct “No Go”). However there is one last way to get Wolverine claws that i don’t think anyone has talked about. At least not until now. Probably because it would be the fastest way to get good old Wolvie to relieve you of your lease on life.

What is this new and exciting trick? Well… How about this. You cut off one of Logans hands, extract the adamantium skeleton (including, of course the precious claws) Extend the claws, fix them in place, and strap the whole thing to your wrist…

Yeah… I never said it would be easy. Or even survivable. But it appears that someone has replicated just that particular option. I give you: the Skull Gauntlet.

Skull Gauntlet

Skull Gauntlet

[Click Image to view full size]

Ok, ok, yes, yes yes, so Wolvie never had little skulls on his knuckles or embedded into his wrist. But the guys who are selling this assure us that it will make you and I look like wolverine, except better… Honest!

OK. Whatever you say. But I have one word for you:

BLASPHEMY!!!!

Absolute heresy. No external claws of any kind will EVAR look better than Wolverines. Just not gonna happen. No. Don’t even think about it.

BTW, In case you hadn’t realized, that last paragraph was my feeble attempt to short circuit any possible subsequent fanboi rant comments resulting from this post. I do not expect to see any more. Be warned. Lest you want a claw, upside your head. With a swiftness.

What? Don’t think I can deliver a claw upside your head over the internets? Please. Try me. Just try me. Please.

But back to the nitty gritty. What you are looking at is a very stylized satin finished stainless steel skeleton of a wrist and hand, with small skulls over each knuckle, and a larger stylized skull over the wrist, with what looks like skeletal bands extending down on either side of the wrist. By no means an anatomically correct representation, as it appears to be missing a set of phalangeal bones, and has some sort of structural webbing between the metacarpals, probably to short circuit any “Hey! You ripped off Wolverines skeleton!” claims, but good enough.

However what it does have are claws. Beautiful, beautiful claws. A set of three sweet steel claws extending from between the knuckles. And, in an unprecedented act of practicality, the wrist of this hand is attached to a what appears to be a leather band in the back, and in front, attached to the knuckles, a steel bracket with an actual grip!! Ye Gods! Someone could actually use this! AMAZING!!!

Providing no ridiculously weak joints exist between the blades, the bracket and the rest of the gauntlet/hand, I must admit, this is one of the first truly practical implementation of wolverine claws I have come across. I could seriously do without the skulls, (I see human, elven, dwarven and orc skulls all over the place in my cave here, thanks to the roach-like orcs that appear to have infested the place, and frankly, it’s getting old…) and all the extraneous steel (which we have discovered, thanks to the hands-on review by Sinza over at Exotic Automatic, is actually a plastic covering over a steel frame) wrapping down around the side in the back, but I’m stoked enough that it is actually a practical, though rather non-conformist, design.

And it’s a clever, if a little twisted, idea. to boot. Why try and remove the claws from the Wolverine? Just leave them on and strap his whole hand to your wrist instead. Heh. And I thought I was nuts. But in the greatest of ironies… I think this would actually work!

Who would have thunk it. I think I may have to restructure my universal paradigm…

*Edit*

Just a quick update. Sinza, a buddy, and founder of the Exotic Automatic forum, has done a full hands-on review of these claws, and has posted a lot of great details about it’s construction, as well as some practical insights it’s design strengths and weaknesses. He also provides some excellent suggestions on how to improve the design. If you are interested in this weapon, you should go check it out out here:

Fixed Blade Xiphoids @ Exotic Automatic

It’s about the 4th post in the thread. Enjoy… 😉

PB out.

Skull Gauntlet – [eBlade Store]

30
Aug
08

An Evil Push Dagger of Doom!

I’ve posted a relatively fair share of what I consider “battle blades”, but today I thought I’d show you a rather interesting blade, one that, contrary to the other extravagant steel art I’ve been blogging about, looks like it would actually be rather wickedly effective. Yep. I’d like you to meet… the Interceptor:

Interceptor

Interceptor

Now that, my friends is evil. My kind of evil. Edges and curves and points. Oh My! :-}

Ok, back to intercepting. This appears to be a weapon modeled after a push dagger, except based on the brass knuckles form factor we first ran into in Tom Andersons Pantera Claws. Essentially, it’s a pair of wood scaled brass knuckles, (in steel) with a set of blades attached forward and to either side of the knuckles.

In essence, a push dagger. With a little extra. And a mean little push dagger it is. Well, perhaps not so little. It is significantly larger than any traditional push dagger, but in this case, this is not an unwelcome characteristic. Out front, we have two large forward blades, with forward pointing tips and outward facing edges.

On either side of the finger voids, we have one additional blade, edges facing out. All four blades have a little semicircular divot which seems to serve no other purpose than aesthetic style. Not the kind of thing I’d do, but they doesn’t seem to create any particularly bad weaknesses, so I’ll move on. The blade seems to be attached via a set of small screws, which might be the only major weakness I can see.

But beyond that, it seems like it would be a genuinely effective tool. Clearly, as a punch dagger, this would be killer (excuse the pun), no questions. The side blades, on the other hand, might see some limited effectiveness if the blade was used in a side hammer fist, though I’d probably not want to try to cut anything like that with the forward blades, unless you really won’t need the use of your fingers afterwards.

But when all is said and done, it’s sheer wickedness… Well, what more can I say… Look at it yourself and form your own conclusions… 😉

Interceptor – [eBlade Store]




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