17
Feb
08

A Big, Black, Battle Axe.

In my last post I talked about the difficulties you might encounter if you attempted to behead someone with a scythe. Eh? No, like I said before, I do not spend my days idly contemplating how easy it would be to behead people with various weapons. I was just making a casual observation. Yes. Thank you.

Errr. Ok. Don’t take it the wrong way, but I just realized I’m getting ready to make a similar observation. See I came across this big axe. And it occurred to me. This would probably be the correct tool to use for beheading people… *ahem*… Look, it seemed like a good segue at the time OK? Whatever. No comments from the peanut gallery please…

Angry Happy Barbarian Battle Axe

Angry Barbarian Battle Axe
[view full size]

OK look. Forget about the beheading thing. Alright? There are cooler things to talk about. The Axe is big and black. All black. Black blade, black shaft, black pommel, the works. And it’s got a big black spear point atop the axe head. And it’s huge. And it looks like it means business. It’s like all kinds of big bad black axitude. I like that in an axe.

What I don’t get is this. Why did they have to call this an “angry” barbarian battle axe? Why not just a regular barbarian battle axe? Are angry barbarians easier to identify with? I mean it’s not like a regular barbarian would be any less inclined to kill you in battle. They would just as soon take your head as soon as look at you right? And with an axe like this it would be like shwing! And your head would be gone… errr..

What the… I heard that! Quit with the snickering already!! Ok that’s it. I’m done. You guys suck… Fine. I’m calling my therapist…

Angry Happy Barbarian Battle Axe – [True Swords]

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14 Responses to “A Big, Black, Battle Axe.”


  1. 1 ladyofspiders
    February 18, 2008 at 11:33 pm

    “No, like I said before, I do not spend my days idly contemplating how easy it would be to behead people with various weapons.”

    You don’t? Well than I have to tell you, you are missing out on all the fun. Didn’t I tell you about my Beheading club?

    “Forget about the beheading thing. Alright? There are cooler things to talk about.”

    Cooler things to talk about than beheading? Like what?

    โ€œangryโ€ barbarian battle axe? Why not just a regular barbarian battle axe?

    What about Happy Barbarian battle axe? Cause I bet whatever viking is weilding this would be pretty happy about it.

    Hehe but it is a pretty cool axe.

  2. February 19, 2008 at 3:46 pm

    What’s cooler than beheading people? Hmmm… Good point. Gonna have think about that one… ๐Ÿ˜›

    Yes. Another excellent point. Any barbarian would be ecstatic to have such an axe. Happy Barbarian Axe it is. I’m changing it right now. ๐Ÿ™‚

    PS Just out of curiosity, what are the membership requirements for your beheading club? ๐Ÿ˜€

  3. 3 ladyofspiders
    February 19, 2008 at 7:06 pm

    Well you have to bring your own axe, sword, guillitine, or other prefered beheading method and we do welcome creativity and you have to have a strong stomache, it is not for the faint of heart or queezy, and there is a memebeership fee, of one fresh viticim a year. But when you join as a gift, you get a free executioners hood, and a classic black t-shirt with the nifty slogan:

    I joined the beheading club and lived to tell about it”

  4. February 20, 2008 at 1:35 am

    Axe/Sword/Miscellaneous beheading contraptions… Check.
    Strong Stomach… Check.
    Creativity… Check.

    Victims… Hmmm…. Do I need to bring the whole body or will just the head do…?

    I’m not really a t-shirt kinda guy, but can I get my hood embroidered?? ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. 5 ladyofspiders
    February 20, 2008 at 11:01 am

    We can take installments of heads

    Hehe sure, well if you do not like the t-shirt, we do have this handy bumper sticker

    “Beheading, its to die for”

  6. February 20, 2008 at 10:22 pm

    Aha! Bumper stickers eh? I prefer this:

    “Beheading: It’s the cats meow…”

    ROFL… ๐Ÿ˜€

  7. 7 ladyofspiders
    February 23, 2008 at 10:30 am

    LOL

    Or how about

    “Keep the good heads rolling”

  8. 9 MoZZA
    August 25, 2008 at 1:01 pm

    what bout “The Beheading Club, making “gimme head” sound non sexual!”

  9. August 27, 2008 at 12:02 am

    Errrmm… Naw, it still sounds rather licentious… just takes the double entendre to rather precarious and dangerous new places… ๐Ÿ˜‰

  10. 11 MoZZA
    September 16, 2008 at 11:59 am

    back on topic! id be a happy barbarian if i had an axe
    *dream bubble: runnig through a field with an axe and romantic music suddenly i grab it and smash it in the face of a roman centurion*

    sorry bout that just tend to have these day dreams now and then
    *dream bubble: about a dream bubble*

  11. September 17, 2008 at 11:49 pm

    ROFL… I’m thinking you and LoS would get along splendidly… ๐Ÿ™‚

  12. 13 MoZZA - the urban sasquatch
    September 18, 2008 at 6:51 am

    i get along great with anybody ๐Ÿ˜€

  13. September 21, 2008 at 3:56 am

    Indeed, I’d think that you would… ๐Ÿ™‚


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