Another Silly Axe Fantasy…

Ok today I thought I’d talk rant about yet another fantasy weapon that makes no sense:

Fantasy Battle Axe

Fantasy Battle Axe
[view full size]

OK, I’ll be the first to admit that this thing looks cool. The two blades are actually very sinister in appearance, and just lend the weapon an overall meanness that I like. However this looks to me like it would work better at the end of a spear shaft, than as an Axe…

So here’s my question, is it just me, or does the picture indicate that the blades on this thing rotate freely around a central shaft? Rotating blades? Are you serious? Do the actually want to be able to cut with this? Oh, my bad, I guess they don’t. Because it’s a fantasy weapon. And we all know that fantasy weapons are only allowed to inflict fantasy wounds…

And just to confirm that I’m not on crazy pills or anything, does this weapon look like an axe to you? Yeah, huh, no. OK. I thought not. Cause it isn’t an axe. It’s an double bladed bowie. That’s what it is. Not, by any stretch of the imagination, a “Fantasy Axe”.

Ok, maybe by a really great stretch of the imagination, but that would really be stretching it. Come on people, slapping the “Fantasy” label on a weapon does not give you license to come up with any stupid weapon design and slap the name of a completely different weapon design on it

And if you believe it does, I happen to have a “Fantasy Crown” I’d like you, and all of these other marketing folk, to try on. It’s made of razor wire dipped in cyanide, but hey a regal “Fantasy Crown” should be a well deserved reward for you “fantasy designers”… 🙂

Fantasy Battle Axe – [Collectors Edge]

10 Responses to “Another Silly Axe Fantasy…”

  1. 1 ladyofspiders
    January 28, 2008 at 5:34 pm

    And we all know that fantasy weapons are only allowed to inflict fantasy wounds…

    That is great.

    And I have to say, to me this one looks more sci-fi then fantasy, but still an axe it does not make.

  2. January 28, 2008 at 10:47 pm

    Yeah, this does have a futuristic look to it, and if it weren’t for all the gimmicks, like calling it a “Fantasy Axe” and making the blades rotate, it might have had some potential. I still say it’s salvageable, if they get rid of that cheesy looking rotating grip and attach it to the head of a spear shaft… Then I’d be inclined to take it more seriously…

  3. July 27, 2008 at 5:17 pm

    this thing sucks… i bought one last year… waste of money

  4. July 29, 2008 at 2:49 pm

    Yeah, it looks cool… Just isn’t really worth it IMHO…

  5. 5 MoZZA
    August 25, 2008 at 12:43 pm

    a rotating blade seems pretty pointless unless its a whisk too!

  6. August 26, 2008 at 11:59 pm

    Even as a whisk it would be pretty pointless. That’s the level of pointlessness this kind of thing can sink to… LOL

  7. 7 MoZZA
    September 16, 2008 at 12:05 pm

    (screams at axe) you good metal sir! thou should be ashamed on thyself! go bow your head in shame you mutant fucked up whisk that doesnt whisk anything!

  8. September 17, 2008 at 11:50 pm

    “you good metal sir”??!? ROFL…!!!

  9. 9 MoZZA - the urban sasquatch
    September 18, 2008 at 6:52 am

    believe it or not i wasnt high when i typed that! ¬_¬

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January 2008

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