Merry Christmas!! Ye Fools of the Merry Blade!!!

OK, so there’s this funky looking blade:

The Torch

The Torch
[view full size]

Ok, This is called the Torch, but I thought this weapon would be a cool Christmas post because… Look! It looks like a Christmas tree!! Sorta. Maybe a palm tree. With Christmas lights… Kinda…

OK, I’ll admit it. This is weak. This thing is so impractical and over done it’s amazing. It must be well nigh impossible to obtain any kind of comfortable grip on the thing, and besides the four blade tree thing, it’s got nuthin’ to do wit’ christmas. Bleh.

Ok. I’ve had a few nonalcoholic drinks. They were very intoxicating. So I’m not entirely positively motivated here. Obviously, I’m just half A$$ing this post. You know it, I know it, so I’ll not insult your intelligence any further. Lets just skip the small talk. I’ll say Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year!!! You may then reply in some generic Christmassy kind, and then we can all go do more productive things. Like raid the blood wine cauldron…

ACH! Speaking of which, I gotta go, I hear the clanking of flagons…

The Torch – [Collectors Edge]

11 Responses to “Merry Christmas!! Ye Fools of the Merry Blade!!!”

  1. 1 ladyofspiders
    December 26, 2007 at 11:50 pm

    ooooo I love those kind of blades *big surprise I know* as they do much desctruction. It is a pretty one too. I would take if for a Yuletide present.

  2. December 27, 2007 at 1:06 am

    Indeed that is a surprise! I had you pegged for the more elegant kinds of blades. Me personally, I kind of prefer blades that would be a little more comfortable in the hand, and easier to control. But I guess today, that you are more into massive destruction than ergonomics… LOL 🙂

  3. 3 ladyofspiders
    December 27, 2007 at 6:15 pm

    I do like elegant, at times, but I also enjoy a bit of mass destruction as well. In fact I have been looking for a good mace. Saw one I really liked once, and hem hawed over getting but did not, and sense then I cannot find one of that style anymore, and I have not liked as well those I have seen.

  4. December 28, 2007 at 1:57 am

    LOL Yeah, good maces are hard to find nowadays 🙂

  5. 5 wyruz
    January 8, 2008 at 4:31 am

    its not a blade, its a grapplehook…..

  6. January 8, 2008 at 5:51 pm

    LOL it does look like a grappling hook doesn’t it… An evil grappling hook…

  7. July 8, 2008 at 8:06 am

    This thingy is so amazingly useless, if u want to kill osmeone with that, u have to be an artifician or something -.- nope, i couldn’t even stab someone with that thing !!!

  8. July 9, 2008 at 9:16 pm

    Yeah this is just… Oh well… I suppose you could get one of these as a pocket knife (if your pockets were large enough) if you were really too lazy to get a blade sharpened… You could just keep switching blades until they were all dull… It would last 4 times as long…

    Ok that was weak… I admit it… I’m leaving now…

  9. 9 Relativelybest
    August 21, 2008 at 4:14 am

    Rule of thumb: when you can’t actually tell how you are supposed to use a bladed weapon directly when looking at it, something had probably gone very, very wrong with the design. ^^;

  10. August 21, 2008 at 8:37 pm

    Indeed! IMHO, a good rule of thumb! 🙂

  11. 11 kuu
    August 24, 2011 at 4:57 pm

    Yes this is indeed kind of derp but the hurt inflicted when you stab someone and make this expand is total rape. This has murder written all over it, no way you could survive four lethal wounds that close together lol. Specially if you were mean enough to put your fingers tru each wound and pull on it until it all tears together forming a cross and opening someone’s bowels…… now that would indeed be murder 😀

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